It's a good thing he's cute

Wow.  That was one shit-assed bedtime.  Mark's out tonight, and my boy was seriously off his game.  During the bath, he slapped at the water and cried, "I DON'T WIKE BUBBLES!", cried through the drying off, cried through the pajamas, then cried through the first story.  "I WANT DADDY! I WANT DADDY!"

After two rounds of milk, and him taking off his own pajamas to throw them into the dining room while laughing maniacally and a truimphant yell of "THACKIE EMMERT DID IT!" he is finally asleep. 

It's a good thing he's cute.



Photos by Craig Larsen



The beatitudes of beans

My son loves jelly beans.  Back in February, his pre-school had a half day, and I met up with another parent for lunch and playtime at an outdoor shopping mall.  One of our stops was at the Confectionary, a high-end candy store.  I told Zac he could pick out one thing, and he picked a small bag of jelly belly jelly beans.

When he was younger, he could make a jelly bean last for a very long time.  He would suck the candy coating off, happy to just carry a slime covered bean around, clutched in his little fist.  He rarely asked for more, and he rarely asked for beans in the first place.  He treated each one as a joyful surprise.

Now that he's two, he has incorporated beans into the car routine, and it makes me slightly mental. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, it doesn't matter if he's full or hungry.  He climbs into his car seat and says "BEANS, MAMA?!? BEANS?".  I explain nicely how beans are a sometimes treat, for after dinner.  He attempts to negotiate, shouting out numbers at random, and non-sequentially.  The requests escalated, then deteriorate, until he's whining and I want to either cover my ears and sing "la la la la la la" to drown him out, or snap out "enough with the fuckin' beans already!"



One bean, mama

I'm trying to turn it into an opportunity for a lesson.   I'm calling this lesson "The Beatitude of Beans".  The term Beatitude comes from the Latin adjective beatus which means happy, fortunate, or blissful. I offer up six beatitudes, for consideration.

1) Blessed are boys who are present:  Be happy for the one bean you have, not sad about the beans still in the bag. There will always be something faster, better, more technologically advanced, or sweeter out there, just on the horizon.  Don't be so busy looking at what you don't have that the good things in your lap get overlooked.     

2) Blessed are boys who have faith: There are more beans out there, my son.  The world is your bean-oyster. Have faith, the good things will come to you, in the form of beans, and many other blessings.

3) Blessed are boys who trust:  Mama loves you and would never let you go without, Trust in that.  It covers the basics - food, shelter, warmth; The extravagances - toys, beans, fun trips to the zoo; and your birthright - unending love, support, and joy.

4) Blessed are boys who are patient: Things in life do not always come at the exact moment you want them.  We talk a lot about "two minutes" - two minutes until cleanup, two minutes until bath time, two minutes at the playground.  Mama's default timer on the phone is for two minutes.  I promise to be mindful of what I say to you and to help you understand patience by executing the promised event in the time frame.  In the meantime, hold your water.  Beans don't fall from the sky.  Seat belt first!

5) Blessed are boys who are gentle:  Kicking mama in the head with your hard little spider-shoe clad feet is not a good way to make your bean-request known.  Use your words.  Maybe even try adding please in.  Your partner will thank you for this when you are all grown up, too.  Be gentle with the ones who love you - you have a responsibility to take care of their hearts.

6) Blessed are boys who say thank you:  It's good manners, but it's more than just words.  My mommy, your grandma hoo hoo, used to tell me "A poor man has to be as good as his word.  It's all he has."  When you say "thank you", let your heart be thankful.  When you say "I'm sorry", let your heart be contrite.  When you say "I love you", let that love stretch your heart just a little wider.

I love you, Zachary, with all my heart.  I will gladly be the teacher behind your beans, in the same way you are my teacher in so many ways.



Celebrating being TWO!
 

Haaaapy burf-day, ahhhneeee

We tried like hell to get z to record a little birthday message for his beloved Auntie Jennifer (he calls her ahhhhhnee). There were a couple moments of near compliance, but he was not in performing monkey mood, plus, his leapfrog fridge farm is just so mesmerizing!

My favorite part is when he dances a little jig.

Zac's video for his ahhhhhneee

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad. Fueled by coffee.

Oh, the words you will speak!

Zac and I have started having conversations, like real conversations with reasoning and requests.  Our talk this morning went like this:

Zac: "Mommy?  Mooooowk?"
Me: "Sure, sweetie, I'll get you some milk."

(I had him a cup, fresh from the fridge.  He tastes is, shakes the cup, and holds it out to me.)

Zac: "No.  Cooooooo-wd"
Me: "Would you like it to be warmer?"
Zac: "YEAH! WAAAAAAHM-ER-ER!"

(I take the milk into the kitchen to pop it into the microwave for a few seconds.)

Zac: "Mommy?"
Me: "Yes, Zac?"
Zac: "NOT haaaaawt, Mommy.  NOT HAAAAAWT."

I couldn't help but laugh.  How is possible he's learned cold, warmer-er and hot?  And that he has a preference that he can express about the temperature of his milk?  He amazes me every day!

New words

Z's vocabulary is growing leaps and bounds, and not just in swear words!
Some new words he added this weekend:
* goooookie (cookie, which was actually a cupcake)
* iced tea
* nyat-meeeee-an (batman)
* duper- meeeee-an (superman. He also threw his arms up in the air and grinned from ear to ear while I played the movie theme song to him, as he sat on his toilet and we read a book about superman)
* Ning nong! Ning nong! (Ding dong! Ding dong!)
* "I is reading!" - it got quiet, we asked what he was doing.
* "another booowk mama!"

* we worked hard at singing twinkle twinkle little star. It went a little like this "tinkle tinkle yeeetle tar. What. Are."
Mama! Where tars?!?"
* this morning he was 'I pooped mama' and sitting on his toilet. He heard daddy vacuuming, and he popped up, wearing Thomas the train socks and his shirt and chased his daddy down, bare -assed. "Wanna heeeeeeewp cweeeeean!" (Want to help clean)

Something very important I forgot To add! Zac now says his own name! Thackie. Today he was wearing a super Grover shirt, with super Grovers body and his head sticking out. He deemed himself "THUPER THACKIE" we all applauded


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad. Fueled by coffee.

Pushing 2

It's been a while since I last checked in.  I could pretend that it's just that my son keeps me so busy, but there's been a free-floating spirit of ennui coursing through my life, which makes it hard to sit down and concentrate.

It's hard to believe there was a time where I worried that Zac didn't talk enough, or that I would beg him to say "Mommy" instead of "Daddy" all the time.  I think he broke a world record for the number of times one person can say "mommy" in a 60 second time frame.  After the 932 reiteration of "MOMMY?" I said "Jeez, Zac, WHAT?!?!" (I was on the phone while he was doing this, of course)

He smiled sweetly and said "HI!" Yep.  That's an almost 2 year old for ya.

He got to spend a fair amount of time with Papa & Granny (My dad & his wife) this summer, and the attraction between Zac and his Papa was almost palpable.  Upon first re-meeting, Zac walked up to his Papa, reached for his hand, and said "Hewwo Papa!" They spent some time reading stories, playing cars, and walking around, holding hands and talking about things.  Zac became very aware that they were a matched set - there is no Granny without Papa, and vice versa.  He also named their RV "Harvey" and likes to check random RV's to see if Papa is inside.  The old ones are back in Arizona for the winter, and they are already missed. 

 

Zac and I also spent a few nights on the Olympic Peninsula with Ahhhhh-neee (Auntie Jennifer) Nom (Uncle Tom).  They had rented a house on the water that was absolutely gorgeous.  Zac enjoyed the boats, seeing wa-wa everywhere, and at one point he exclaimed "Oh My GAWD.  The Tweeees!" (trees). Fwwwwwwy-innnnn kiiiiiiiii-yites! on the beach was a huge hit. 

Fwwwwwwwwwy-innnnnn kiiiiiii-yites! with Nom

He parrots everything I say.  EVERYTHING I SAY.  I've heard him admonishing other drivers from the back seat ("Beep beep, atttttth-hoooooo!") and he met me telling him he could not have Ma-Means (Jelly Beans) for breakfast with a scrunched up face and "Puck you, Mama" (yeah, I'm not gonna translate that one.)

He's sleeping in his own room 100% of the time - we had a sitter over a few months ago and rather jokingly suggested she feel free to get Zac to sleep in his crib.  He went right to sleep for her, and has been sleeping there ever since.  Naps and bedtime have one of three possible outcomes: Really easy, One check in, and fucking awful.  There is not a lot of middle ground with my little man.

Yay! Potty!

He's very interested in the potty.  He likes to tell us to poop, and he likes to undress his doll and sit her on the potty so she can poop.  Last night, he told me he had to go, so I got him undressed.  He peed on the floor NEXT to the potty, yelled "uh-oh!" covered it with a book, and ran away.  It's a start!  My previous experience with cats has not really prepared me for this, I know if a cat was peeing next to his litter box, it would be his way of saying "I'm not particularly happy with you."  For Z, I think he just didn't QUITE make it in time.  I'm pretty content to let this go on his own schedule, with no real pressure about potty training.

He has a fine fashion sense, which is to say he wears what I buy for him without too much of a fuss. He's figured out that he gets fawned over A LOT when he's wearing a hat, so he will keep a hat on.  And while he likes his own hats quite a bit, there's nothing quite like getting his hands on one of my hats, or Daddy's hats. If ever you see him wearing a baseball cap backwards, it's not because I put it on him that way, he has his own sense of style, and he will not be limited by what Mama and Daddy say is "right".  Backwards caps are COOL, you guys!

 

Wearing Mommy's Hat (and Tigger slippers), an Animal hoodie (complete with mohawk), and Mr. I-Do-It baseball cap.

 

It's been an amazing almost two years, a frustrating almost two years, a happy almost two years, the most exhausting experience I've ever had, and more joy than I thought my heart was capable of.

I showed this picture to my primary care doctor.  He said "kids can't fake that happy look."

To forward face, or not to forward face.

Zachary is almost 19 months old, and he's actively rejecting any and everything that might indicate we may be treating his like a baby and not like the big boy that he's fighting to become.  He idily pushes around food that we've cut too small, and aggressively devours food that is in it's original form.  He sighs, patiently, and indulges in our over-protective need to hold his hand while he's going up and down stairs, and his new favorite phrase is "NO MAMA!"

The latest multiple times a day struggle is the car seat.  He's still rear facing, based on newish findings that childrens should stay rear facing until 2 years old.  His legs do not straighten out when he's seated, and it gives him A LOT of leverage for squirming.  I sit him in the car seat, and he pistons his legs out, launching sideways, throwing himself out of the car seat and into the passenger back seat.  He sits there, like a big boy, and starts fumbling with the seat belt.  He KNOWS he needs to be belted in, just has no interest in doing it in a car seat, looking the wrong direction.  When I drag him back into his car seat, I'm pretty much physically restraining him while he screams and I strap him in.  This adds a lot of stress, guilt, and general anxiety to both of our mornings.

Buckle up, Mama!



So, here's my dilema.  He is 35 3/4" tall and 30.5 pounds.  He's off the growth charts in ever category.  Do I continue to fight him for the next 5 months, or do I go ahead and flip him around to forward facing - where the view is more interesting, and his legs won't be up against anything, giving him the momentum to get away faster.  His safety is top priority to me, but there's something to be said for my sanity in this whole deal, too.

P.S. - Look, Jennifer E! 324 words! :-)