The beatitudes of beans

My son loves jelly beans.  Back in February, his pre-school had a half day, and I met up with another parent for lunch and playtime at an outdoor shopping mall.  One of our stops was at the Confectionary, a high-end candy store.  I told Zac he could pick out one thing, and he picked a small bag of jelly belly jelly beans.

When he was younger, he could make a jelly bean last for a very long time.  He would suck the candy coating off, happy to just carry a slime covered bean around, clutched in his little fist.  He rarely asked for more, and he rarely asked for beans in the first place.  He treated each one as a joyful surprise.

Now that he's two, he has incorporated beans into the car routine, and it makes me slightly mental. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, it doesn't matter if he's full or hungry.  He climbs into his car seat and says "BEANS, MAMA?!? BEANS?".  I explain nicely how beans are a sometimes treat, for after dinner.  He attempts to negotiate, shouting out numbers at random, and non-sequentially.  The requests escalated, then deteriorate, until he's whining and I want to either cover my ears and sing "la la la la la la" to drown him out, or snap out "enough with the fuckin' beans already!"



One bean, mama

I'm trying to turn it into an opportunity for a lesson.   I'm calling this lesson "The Beatitude of Beans".  The term Beatitude comes from the Latin adjective beatus which means happy, fortunate, or blissful. I offer up six beatitudes, for consideration.

1) Blessed are boys who are present:  Be happy for the one bean you have, not sad about the beans still in the bag. There will always be something faster, better, more technologically advanced, or sweeter out there, just on the horizon.  Don't be so busy looking at what you don't have that the good things in your lap get overlooked.     

2) Blessed are boys who have faith: There are more beans out there, my son.  The world is your bean-oyster. Have faith, the good things will come to you, in the form of beans, and many other blessings.

3) Blessed are boys who trust:  Mama loves you and would never let you go without, Trust in that.  It covers the basics - food, shelter, warmth; The extravagances - toys, beans, fun trips to the zoo; and your birthright - unending love, support, and joy.

4) Blessed are boys who are patient: Things in life do not always come at the exact moment you want them.  We talk a lot about "two minutes" - two minutes until cleanup, two minutes until bath time, two minutes at the playground.  Mama's default timer on the phone is for two minutes.  I promise to be mindful of what I say to you and to help you understand patience by executing the promised event in the time frame.  In the meantime, hold your water.  Beans don't fall from the sky.  Seat belt first!

5) Blessed are boys who are gentle:  Kicking mama in the head with your hard little spider-shoe clad feet is not a good way to make your bean-request known.  Use your words.  Maybe even try adding please in.  Your partner will thank you for this when you are all grown up, too.  Be gentle with the ones who love you - you have a responsibility to take care of their hearts.

6) Blessed are boys who say thank you:  It's good manners, but it's more than just words.  My mommy, your grandma hoo hoo, used to tell me "A poor man has to be as good as his word.  It's all he has."  When you say "thank you", let your heart be thankful.  When you say "I'm sorry", let your heart be contrite.  When you say "I love you", let that love stretch your heart just a little wider.

I love you, Zachary, with all my heart.  I will gladly be the teacher behind your beans, in the same way you are my teacher in so many ways.



Celebrating being TWO!